If I didn't already live alone, I would totally be living alone now.

It stands to reason that changing one's diet drastically may indeed upset the delicate balance of flora and fauna inside one's digestive tract. However I don't recall eating anything that would result in such voluminous and malodorous gaseous anal expulsions.

The thirteen year old boy in me is seriously contemplating driving over to my younger sister's house 30 miles away (and it's 11:55 PM right now), ringing the doorbell, and then waiting to rip ass in grand fashion when she answers the door. Then, giggling like an idiot, hopping back in my car and driving home.

I ate a leg/thigh combo with a bunch of veggies when I got home, then snacked on a piece of beef jerky. I was going to hardboil some eggs, but I realized I actually don't know how to do it properly. I then researched the best way to do it, realized it was 10 PM, said the hell with it and watched two episodes of Law and Order. The original. The one NBC just cancelled. A world without a current television show starring Sam Waterston is not a world I want to live in. Somebody better fix that shit, STAT.